1) Outgoing personality - Always going out of the office
2) Great presentation skills - Able to bullshit
3) Good communication skills - Spends a lot of time on the phone
4) Work is first priority - Too ugly to get a date
5) Active socially - Drinks a lot
6) Independent worker - No one knows what you are doing
7) Quick thinking - Gives excuses on the go
Careful thinker - Will not make decisions
9) Uses logic on difficult jobs - Gets someone else to do it
10) Expresses themselves well - Speaks English
11) Meticulous attention to detail - A nit-picker
12) Has leadership qualities - Is tall or has a louder voice
13) Exceptionally good judgment - Has been very lucky
14) Keen sense of humor - Knows a lot of dirty jokes
15) Career minded - Back stabber
16) Loyal - Cannot get another job elsewhere
17) Plans for advancement/promotion - Buys drinks for all the boys
18) Of great value to the organization - Gets to work on time
19) Relaxed attitude - Sleeps on the desk