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#1: Malaysia Joke / Lawak Author: shahril78, Location: AnFieLdPosted: Thu Mar 12, 2009 9:01 am ---- MAMAK ORDERS
How does a Mamak shout your orders across the stall?
Kopi + Teh = "Ko Teh"
Milo + Kopi + Teh = "My Ko Teh"
Horlicks + Milo + Kopi + Teh = "Lick My Ko Teh"
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DJ MISUNDERSTOOD?
A Singapore English radio station, was holding a live radio segment at a shopping mall. The DJ was hosting a game show where prizes were given away to kids on stage if they could name the opposite gender of animals. The first kid to come on stage was a girl.
"What's your name girl & how old are you?"
"My name is Cheryl & I am 8 years old."
"OK, tell me Cheryl, what is the opposite of cow?" "Bull."
"Very good! That's correct. Now here's a barbie doll for you.
Ladies & gentlemen, please give her a round of applause."
The game then continued for the next 15 minutes in a similar fashion with the kids getting all the simple questions correct until it was time for the 10th kid to come on stage. The audience were very impressed with this kid as he was very clever & articulate from the moment he stepped on stage, before being asked, announced, "My name is Johnny. I am 7 years old and I like English, Maths & Art. My hobbies are collecting stamps & stickers."
The audience liked him immediately because of his confidence & had started to clap for him. His parents, standing right in front of the stage, were beaming with pride at how smart their son was.
"OK, Johnny, you should know the answer to this question very well. Close 2 eyes also can answer. Tell me, what is the opposite of cock?"
The young boy paused for a moment, scratched his head, moved closer to the microphone & finally answered proudly, "Chee Bai!"
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WHAT A CO-INCIDENCE!
Two guys are sitting at either end of a bar late one night when one of them looks up and says to the other guy, "How's the going'? You from around here?" The other guy says,"Damansara Jaya" "Me too. What a co-incidence!" "Where did you go to school?" "La Salle PJ"" Hey, so did I!" "What year did you leave school?" "1981" "So did I!" "What street do you live on?" "SS22/41!" "I live there too!" "What did your old man do for a living?" "KTM worker." "Unreal! Mine too!" Just then another guy walks in & says to the bartender, "What's going' on?" The bartender replies, "Not much...but the Wong twins are drunk again!"
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Bukan Anakmu
Suzy menyampaikan hasrat hatinya kepada bapanya untuk berkahwin dengan Robert, Jejaka pilihannya yang juga adalah jiran dan teman sepermainannya sejak kecil lagi.
Suzy : Ayah, Robert melamar saya. Kami mahu berkahwin.
Ayah : Apa? Tidak boleh! Kamu boleh berkahwin dengan sesiapa saja kecuali Robert.
Suzy : Tapi mengapa?
Ayah : (Separuh berbisik) Kerana Robert sebenarnya adalah abangmu. Tapi, jangan beritahu ibumu ye!
Terkejut dengan jawapan itu, suzy pergi pula ibunya.
Suzy : Ibu, Ayah melarang saya berkahwin dengan Robert.
Ibu : Tak usah dengar cakap ayah kamu tu. Kamu boleh kahwin dengan sesiapa yang kamu suka termasuk Robert.
Suzi : Tapi kata ayah, Robert itu abang saya. Adik beradik kan tak boleh kahwin.
Ibu : (Separuh berbisik) Hmmm…. Ayah kamu pun tak tahu kamu bukan anaknya.
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Ciuman
LISA: Berapa harga semeter kain ni?
PENJUAL: Harga 1 meter cuma 1 ciuman
LISA: Baiklah..bagi saya 10 meter..
PENJUAL: (gembira)...ni dah siap sepuluh meter kain..bayarannya???
LISA: Jap,nenek saya akan bayarkan..(sambil menunjuk ke arah neneknya).
#2: Re: Malaysia Joke / Lawak Author: highwaystar, Location: Kola LompuerPosted: Thu Mar 12, 2009 9:46 am ---- ehhehehe sempoi... mmmm kesian suzy hehehe
